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God's Most Blessed Hobby
呪われた者たちのためのニュース
Forza Horizon 6 to Ban Players for Speeding
The virtual cops are even tougher than IRL...
Sep 28
The Hidden Benefits of Microsoft's Limits to Cloud Gaming
Watch more hentai, obviously. But what else?
Sep 17
Nintendo Announces Metroid Candies For Series' 40th Anniversary
Already sold out in stores, but you still get them from scalpers for triple the price online!
Sep 10
PlayStation States 'Reasonable Gamers^TM' Use the N-Word in All Online Lobbies
Us Gamers^TM always win in the end
Sep 7
GTA 6 Leak Shows Off Mandatory Grocery Shopping Mini Game
We can't wait to find out all the bananas are rotten!
Aug 21
ESRB Re-Rates Splatoon Raiders to "Mature" Due to Gamers' Thirst For Shiver
Please train me like your megalodon, goddess!
Aug 9
5 Things You Missed in the Stellar Blade AI Music Video
When does Evie get her own cryptocurrency?
Aug 7
Rockstar Offering $300 Version of GTA VI That Allows One to Dye Their Hair
We hope other studios take note of this wonderful gift to Gamers^TM
Jun 25
Valve to Market Steam Machine as a "Dust Collector" to Build Pre-Orders
The new Steam Machine can hold dust, fuzz, and cat fur without a worry
Jun 23
Gamer Deaths Rising From Cognitive Dissonance Between God of War and Stellar Blade
Game studios should have the right to do exactly what straight, white Gamers^TM demand they do!
Jun 16
Sonic Crossroads Evangelion DLC Won't Allow You to Play as Shinji
At least Pen Pen is playable
Jun 12
Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time Remake Confirmed for Every Nintendo Console Ever
Pictured: A young boy sleeps during the unimpressive reveal of the new remake of Ocarina of Time
Jun 9
Evie's Butt Based on Unripened Peach in Stellar Blade Blood Rain
Gamers^TM are rejoicing in the knowledge Evie's Butt ain't ripe just yet.
Jun 6
God of War Laufey Confirmed Woke as Jack Quaid's Cube Gives Gamers^TM a Stiffy
Jack Quaid's sexiest role yet!
Jun 3
James Bond Asking For Consent Proves 007 First Light Video Game Is Woke AF
Respecting women is communist.
May 27
Star Fox Furry Porn Up 700% Following Remake Announcement
James Died so that our eyes could feast Oahu, Idaho - Fans across the globe cheered at the announcement of getting a chance to play Star Fox 64 yet again, but the furry community has found itself extra-thrilled by the opportunity to create more furry porn. "I can't wait to show the new Peppy banging Falco in a space orgy," said X (formerly Twitter) user GiveMeAnimalPorn. "Did you know that rabbits have corkscrew dicks? Or was that ducks?" GiveMeAnimalPorn appears to be late t
May 9
Gamers Fall Into Depression Over Alleged Pragmata Censorship
There will be no rest until Gamers can jerk off
Apr 20
Mar 20
Gamers Using Computers to Avoid Rising Gas Costs
Yet more evidence of the value of excessive video gaming
Mar 10
Gamer Fatigued After Climbing Stairs Out of Basement
Prior requests to his parents to have an elevator installed were denied.
Mar 5
6 More Weeks of Winter After Jimmy the Groundhog Sees Shadow The Hedgehog
Helps explain Shadow's cold personality, honestly.
Feb 5
True Gamer Threatens to Hack Sony After Not Receiving Platinum Trophy
The shapes in that little trophy are actually rare minerals needed to create gaming controllers (Source). Toronto, Iceland – Sony CEO Hiroki Totoki showed extreme indifference to a threat by true gamer Schlubs Macadoo to hack Sony Playstation systems after not receiving a Platinum Trophy from the company. “They say I’m a great gamer. The greatest gamer there ever was. They tell me ‘nobody can game like you can.’ I don’t think they’re wrong. So why can’t Sony award me this pla
Jan 21
Kirby Confirms He Has Type Two Diabetes
Cook Kirby needs to cut back on the salt
Jan 19
As Someone Who Happily Spent $700 on Umamusume, Let Me Tell You Why $80 for a Nintendo Game is Not Too Expensive.
Hey, it's leagues cheaper than the Steam Machine
Jan 18
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