Kirby Confirms He Has Type Two Diabetes

This fat fuck needs less ice cream and more Maxim Tomatoes in his diet.

Dreamland, Popstar – After receiving council from multiple doctors, Kirby confirmed at a press conference earlier today that he has been diagnosed with type two diabetes. Kirby noted that several of the doctors he spoke with condemned his eating habits and suggested he make a massive overhaul to his diet immediately. “Kirby should not be eating every random Cappy or Waddle Dee he bumps into at the park,” stated one doctor. “And for Christ’s sake, he shouldn't be swallowing any Mace Knights, Mr. Frostys, or Poppy Bros Jrs. whole. They should at least be diced up into smaller pieces before being ingested.” Despite concerns from the residents of Dreamland, Kirby had been reluctant to see a doctor before now citing that it was “perfectly normal and healthy to eat Wheelie Bikes in their entirety, including the oil and rubber tires.” Kirby came across as optimistic at the event stating that doctors had given him the thumbs up to eat chicken and eggs, and that after the press conference he would be making his way over to Dyna Blade’s nest for what he called a “private meal.”