Gamer Fatigued After Climbing Stairs Out of Basement

No, he did not ascend from a sex dungeon. Just a regular, vanilla dungeon.

Baton Rouge, Okinawa – After an intense day of playing Zenless Zone Zero, gamer Corrin Smithington struggled to catch his breath after trudging up his parent’s basement stairs. Smithington could be seen sweating profusely and breathing heavily upon finally reaching the tippy top of the stairway. “Gaming is important to me. Even more important than maintaining my health (not that I have any health problems),” wheezed Smithington. “I know that I am a peak alpha above all of the soy cuck beta males being raised in our schools today.”  

Smithington confirmed that he himself frequently skipped school or wouldn’t pay attention in class because it was a ‘woke factory.’ Gym class, too, was a class Smithington showed disdain for, claiming that eating meat is all that was needed to be strong like his ancestors were. Upon declaring his intention to climb another set of stairs to reach his bedroom, a deep cry of sorrow could be heard bellowing out from Smithington’s heart, while a melancholic rendition of Led Zepplin’s Stairway to Heaven could be heard ominously playing from somewhere in the neighborhood.