True Gamer Threatens to Hack Sony After Not Receiving Platinum Trophy

The shapes in that little trophy are actually rare minerals needed to create gaming controllers.

Toronto, Iceland– Sony CEO Hiroki Totoki showed extreme indifference to a threat by true gamer Schlubs Macadoo to hack Sony Playstation systems after not receiving a Platinum Trophy from the company. “They say I’m a great gamer. The greatest gamer there ever was. They tell me ‘nobody can game like you can.’ I don’t think they’re wrong. So why can’t Sony award me this platinum trophy?” lamented Schlubs on X (formerly Twitter). “If they can’t give me a platinum trophy, then why should I agree to their terms and conditions? My grandfather consulted for Sony during World War II, so technically Sony should belong to me anyways!!!!” Some gamers contested Macadoo’s claims noting that Macadoo had never even beaten tougher games such as Dark Souls, Sekkiro, or Dora the Explorer: Barnyard Buddies. In an interesting turn of events, Xbox CEO Phil Spencer announced that he would offer Schlubs the first ever Xbox Platinum trophy and would push hard to bring the Game Awards to Schlub’s backyard next year.