Takaichi Promises To Take Trump on a "Bataan Death March" in Iranian Negotiations.

When reporters asked if Japan and America had committed war crimes, this was the response.

Portland, Florida - Following remarks by Trump about Japan's surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi suggested that she'd like the American president to experience another famous World War II atrocity. "We should take a walk and discuss this Iranian crisis in detail with privacy," said Takaichi to Trump. "Or perhaps not so much a walk as a march like in Bataan."The idea came shortly after Takaichi suggested Trump try handling a samurai sword and attempt the "seppuku" technique on himself. Trump agreed to an attempt stating it would be "exciting. Super exciting. Takaichi never offered Biden such an opportunity," but was unable to find the strength to lift the sword or point it towards his own belly.

An artist's rendition of Trump attempting to follow Takaichi's advice of a "seppuku"

The talks came about three weeks after Trump's attack on Iran. Trump's frustration with the war grew quickly after his attempts to bring 150 Iranian school girls to Epstein Island was thwarted by his own general accidentally blowing the school up beforehand. Trump also gave up on his attempt to free up oil trapped in the Strait of Hormuz after it became known that it was actually known as the Gay of Hormuz in Arabic.

I can't wait to blow you (up) senpai!

Japanese citizens were hoping to avoid needing to engage with Iran as polls show their citizens would much rather just "weeb out" than murder foreigners. Takaichi's ability in the negotiations to avoid a commitment to joining the war will likely continue to see her poll numbers climb further from her recent announcement to tax foreigners living abroad. Upon returning to Japan, it was reported that Takaichi would show it's support of Trump and his war by suspending green energy projects and cutting education funding to purchase more black gold from overseas.