Confirmed: Animes and Manga too Lame to be Affected by Cancellation of Japan's 'Cool Fund'

With Tokyo officially declaring animes and manga not cool, depression mitigation pills are expected to skyrocket both in Japan and across the globe. (Source)

Tokyo, Japan - Noting its focus on attracting dweebs and geeks, a representative of Japan's Ministry of Economy, Trade, and Industry confirmed that the cancelling of the 'Cool Japan Fund' would not affect animes or manga companies as they were too lame to ever qualify for the funds in the first place. "Yeah, we don't know why this is coming as a shock to the anime[s] community. Did they actually think that watching people farm in another world was cool or something?" asked the representative when reporters questioned how the world's otaku would react to discovering their favorite animes show did not signal popularity or improve their chances of getting laid. "Is watching people play a children's card game 'with the world at stake' something these bozos actually think the preppy jocks are doing with their free time?" The Ministry confirmed the end of the Cool Japan Fund after losses of about $430million since 2013, with most of the money going to actually cool aspects of Japan like sumo wrestling tournaments, rave parties, and the growing 'wagyu cocaine' market. It was confirmed during the same conference that the money previously directed towards the Cool Japan Fund was now going to be routed towards critical infrastructure projects like Shinkansen upgrades and ensuring a pachinko hall was available on every block in the greater Tokyo area.