Hogwarts’ Student Body Now 100% Female After All Males Transition

Giving Beauxbatons a run for its money (Source)

LONDON, JAPAN – Following the lead of Slytherin’s Draconia Malfoy, formerly male students from all of the Hogwarts houses have been reported using transfiguration spells and polyjuice potions to make themselves permanently female. “I’ve always wanted to be a girl since I saw a video four years ago of McGonagall snogging two centaurs on UnicornHub. That’s the #1 pornography site for women-on-mythical creature gangbangs, I hear,” stated Seamus Femigan to our reporters while taking a quick break from helping both Cormiss McLaggen and Neville Shortskirt make a lesbian love potion for each other. “I’m not sure there are any boys left for me here at Hogwarts, though!” Despite howling concerns from some parents, bullying and sexual harassment against women is down effectively 100% in the first week, although tardiness to class has more than doubled due to longer wait times to use the restroom. When asked about his opinion on the concerns of allowing minors to switch their gender on a whim, Headmaster Dumbledore stated quite calmly, “Up yours, Umbridge, you mandrake smelling, blast-ended screwt licking, Hufflepuff-birthed, piece of shit.”