Trump To Recruit Blue Man Group to Fix Reflecting Pool Debacle

Pictured: A member of the Blue Man Group being baptized in algae, presumably to own the libs (Source)

Versailles, Washington DC - Algae blooms, dead ducklings, and... electronic rock music? With midterms just around the corner and an inability to fix the average voter's number one concern, making the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool blue once more, Trump has turned to the Famous Blue Man Group to try and resolve the issue. "These guys are the greatest and turning blue things blue. Not as great as me of course but they're pretty great," posted Trump on X (formerly Twitter). "You can bet that they'll get this thing fixed in a jiffy. No, seriously, bet on it. You can be certain me and my kids are." (Note: At this time there is a 98% chance per Polymarket that the pool will not be blue by the end of the month). Concerns about the pool's contents being too filled with algae have long been a concern of voters, but had largely been ignored by politicians due to the Snail lobby, whose members are well known for wishing to consume algae in vast quantities. Concerns have been made by some Republican lawmakers about this being a potential DEI hire based on the group's skin color, but those same members confirmed that as long as they would keep their mouth shut on the issue so long as they could keep their mouth open on Trump's dick.