Hentaivirus Continues Spreading Rapidly Through Anime Communities

Are millions doomed to watch bad animes just to enjoy a brief stiffy?

Miami, Cayman Islands - Couches and gaming chairs across the globe are losing butts in their seats as more weebs have been avoiding watching their favorite seasonal animes as the Hentaivirus has managed to continue spreading through the anime community. "I'd rather not catch a virus that makes me want to watch low brow, trashy anime," stated one reddit user. "They're more to Japanese cartoons than cheap ass NTR flicks." Hentaivirus was first reported about two weeks ago at a small anime convention in Miami. Doctors and researchers are split as to what caused the initial infection, with some believing the first to obtain the virus was a minor who slipped behind the sheet to enter an 18+ merchandise booth at the convention. Other experts believe patient zero likely caught the virus by buying a mystery box while accidentally having the expectation that its contents would not absolutely suck.

Despite recommendations to avoid contact with those with the virus, a subset of weebs have actually been going out of their way to catch the virus. "Rubbing one out to anime chicks is a dream any real fan should have," said X user NoLifeOnlyBoobs. "Only tourists think being antisocial and watching animated pornography for hours a day is a bad thing.

Some sites have gone to extreme lengths to protect their userbases from the virus. We're not convinced Anime News Network has gone far enough, however.

Despite most weebs referring to the contagion as Hentaivirus, those in the medical and therapeutic communities have disputed the name claiming it would be more accurate to refer to the disease as "porn addiction.""Yeah, Hentaivirus isn't anything new. It's existence has been confirmed for hundred of years in men," stated Dr. Burry of the sex research group Porn on the Cob. "These guys just want to frequently jerk their dicks off to drawings of girls. Like, multiple times a day. Literally 24/7 if they could."

Various anime websites have taken notice and have begun instituting countermeasures to try and limit the spread of Hentaivirus. Myanimelist (MAL) and Anilist have both initiated 6 inch gaps between posts in their respective forums, meanwhile Anime News Network has required all users masturbate on webcam in front of staff to ensure horniness has dissipated prior to communicating with other users on the forums. [We here at Anime Freedom are not afraid of this or any other virus. We have mandated all employees remove the antivirus systems from their computers and come in to work for a bleach and ivermectin tasting party.]

A potential silver lining? Many experts believe the virus' ability to multiply will be limited due to most weebs being loners who will not go out in public with others where they could catch or spread the virus.