Despicable Me Minions Front and Center at Japanese Ice Festival

Move over, Fern. Japan has a new waifu (or husbando?)

Hokkaido, Japan – The annual Ice Festival at Lake Shikotsu has a new unofficial mascot this year: Minions. Since the debut of Despicable Me in 2010, the movie’s shit-for-brains mascots have grown steadily in popularity across Japan. The lake festival once renowned for ice sculptures of cranes, foxes, and h-scene recreations has been overrun by the oversized medicine tablets. “Minions are just so cool. I’m happy they are a part of our culture now,” said local Lance Tanoshii. “I’m hoping we stop producing our slop anime and start making Despicable Me anime instead.” It is believed that Universal Picture's minions took off so well in Japan due to it’s clash with most manga and anime produced in the country. “Most anime is cheap, lifeless, and hard to look at these days,” claimed anime historian Miiktsuma Joe. “By contrast, the minions have a lot more passion and work put into them. They’re a hell of a lot cuter than most waifus, too!”