Hurricanes Forfeit Eastern Conference Finals Stating "Bermuda Beats Hockey"

Apparently hockey can't beat clear skies or tax havens

Montreal, North Carolina - Cole Caufield said he was looking forward to a tough series against the Carolina Hurricanes, but it appears things will be easier for Cole than expected as the Hurricanes withdrew from the NHL playoffs to extend their vacation in Bermuda. "Hockey can be fun, but after spending the last week here in Bermuda I don't want to come back to the states," said Sebastion Aho to reporters with arms draped around to two bikini-laden women while downing his sixth margarita in the past hour. "In fact, I wish we didn't even make the playoffs. We could've been here two weeks sooner."

The Hurricanes elected to take some time off in Bermuda after they completed their second sweep on May 9th, with coach Rod Brind'Amour saying the team needed some time off to rest their legs, catch their breath, and snort cocaine off the butts of the local hotties. Apparently the team has taken a liking to their new scenery and elected to forfeit the Eastern Conference finals citing the warmer weather, cheap food, and not having to worry about getting injured from cheap shots at the hands of Brad Marchand or Sam Bennett.

The decision to skip the playoffs follows in the footsteps of the Vancouver Canucks, who just last week elected to skip the 2026-2027 season with GM Ryan Johnson proclaiming, "Even if the lottery didn't screw us we don't have a shot in hell at the playoffs next year."