Drug Smugglers to Begin Dressing Up as Children to Avoid Being Targeted

Pictured: Two innocent children who are definitely not transporting the greatest substances known to mankind (Credit)

Sao Paulo, Turkie - As the crisp, tropical waves roll across the Atlantic, a new sight is becoming increasingly common new the shores of the Caribbean: children driving speedboats. The surprising twist is that it's not actually children, but instead drug smugglers attempting to avoid being targeted by American jets. "Yeah, we know President Trump likes the little ones, so we decided to try dressing up as kids to avoid being targeted. We've lost about 70% fewer boats since using this method," said one smuggler who wished to remain anonymous. "We originally tried looking like Eric and Donald Trump Jr., but that just seemed to make the American jets target us more." The change in attire for smuggling groups came upon increasingly clear revelations that the normally violent American president has a soft spot for little children (but not between his legs). While the interviewed smuggling ring have been dressing up as children to avoid being fired upon, reports have also suggested other smuggling groups have had some success in avoiding U.S. military fire after their crews dressed up as cheeseburgers, nazis, and Goya's delicious baked beans.