Culver's CEO Eats Mascot, Employee in Bizarre Video

Vanilla ice cream topped with blood and organs could be Culvers' next big hit, say investors

Late to the party (unlike us), Culver's founder and former CEO Craig Culver elected to up the anti for burger-eating videos by eating a Culver's employee dressed up in the restaurant chain's famed Scoopy costume. "Eating beef is child's play in the fast food business," said Craig to the camera in a now viral TikTok post. "Eating human flesh shows just how committed we are to being the best service providers we can be." Culvers' X (formerly Twitter) account noted that neither their world famous frozen custard, deliciously toasted and buttered cheese curds, nor their wide variety of juicy and succulent third pound burgers currently contained more than a trace of human meat, but they were open to the idea of selling such products in the future. Culver's did confirm, however, that their lemon ice would be made up by at least 2% of the tears of underpaid staff starting this summer. Viewers were split as to whether or not Craig's consumption of an employee was justified, with some viewers arguing that the employee's sacrifice was necessary for Culvers' bottom line. Other (woke) people have claimed that employees shouldn't have to be eaten alive for company profits, and have disgustingly suggested that people should "eat the rich" instead.