After Backflipping, Gundam Destroys Tesla
SAN JOSE, JAPAN - Just hours after completing a recon mission near Colony 6, start-up research and development company GUND-ARM debuted it's new mobile suit, dubbed "Aerial," to the public by having it perform a backflip on stage, immediately after which it accidentally obliterated the newly announced flying Tesla Roadster. "W-w-w-w-wait a minute. Th-th-that wasn't a practice target for me to hit?" stammered the pilot, Suletta Mercury, over comms after realizing she had just murdered a Tesla employee and destroyed the results of billions of dollars and years of research from one of her competitors. "B-b-but who would in the heck would choose to fly in a little car when you could us a semi-autonomous, mechanical war machine?" Prior to being cut in half, the new Tesla appeared to be winning over the media not only with it's ability to fly for short periods of time, but also for having comfortable seating for four, and even a heated steering wheel. By contrast, the newly debuting GUND-ARM Aerial has promised a 0-60 of just 0.14 seconds, a 17-meter long plasma sword, and eleven separate "Escutcheon," which can autonomously attack targets or create a defensive barrier. When asked about his feeling from seeing his Tesla Roadster being both upstaged and destroyed at its debut event, Tesla CEO Elon Musk claimed that he would have a new Roadster model that could withstand being obliterated by an Aerial within a week, but only if his CEO incentive package increased to four trillion dollars. Telsa stock jumped 119 points on the promise.
