Thousands Remain Addicted to Suckers after Watching 4Kids Edit of One Piece

One of these is a highly poisonous and addictive substance. The other is a cigarette. (Image Source)

Jacksonville, Japan - Rehabilitation centers have long been known to help those attempting to get over their addictions to drugs or alcohol, but thanks to the 4Kids version of One Piece one other type of addict continues to seek help: Sucker addicts. "I didn't think having [my son] watch a child's cartoon unsupervised would have resulted in a lifelong addiction [to suckers]," sobbed Beth Sexsüchtiger, a mother whose son has been addicted to suckers since watching One Piece in 2004. "Couldn't it at least have been a cool addiction, like to cocaine or pornography?" Beth's son is one of thousands who have self-reported as becoming addicted to suckers after watching One Piece on Cartoon Network's Toonami block back in the early 2000s. These addicts have stated that even after twenty years they are still struggling to find help due to what they describe as a "weebphobia" by staff at treatment centers, where staff will avoid assisting some individuals for reasons such as the patient's body odor, poor social skills, or "bad taste" in animes.

4Kids has come under scrutiny from the general public as well for allowing such an addictive substance to be shown directly to children. "I can't believe we are letting our kids see potential roll [sic] models be shown such degenerate imagery," stated one user on X (formerly Twitter). 4Kids themselves have defended the decision over the years stating that there was no evidence of suckers causing addiction, as well as that the consumption of suckers were believed to boost confidence, memory, and overall sex appeal. "We thought - and still believe - that having anime characters lick suckers was to the viewer's benefit," said a 4Kids spokesperson back in 2009. "Historically weebs struggle to get laid, but if these 9 and 10 year-old kids get into the habit of licking the suckers now they'll find themselves irresistible to ladies when they're 15 or 16."

Did 4Kids change this Pokemon anime's dialogue to make children gay? We're just asking! (Source)

Sucker addiction isn't the only issue 4Kids has faced with its censorship decisions. Conspiracy-laden weebs have argued that the suckers were designed to turn male animes fans gay. "They're turning the freakin' weebs gay!" exclaimed X user Alexis Jones. "It's all a plot by the communist SJW deep state cucks to destroy the West from the inside out." These self-proclaimed alpha male weebs have pointed to other censorship decisions made by 4Kids, such as in Pokemon when Brock refers to an onigiri as a jelly doughnut being a subtle hint towards queerness given the perceived squirting of thick, moist, jelly liquid into the mouth upon consumption. These same animes fan wish to make it clear, however, that 4Kids did not censor the original Sailor Moon animes in any way and that sailors Neptune and Uranus were just very good and flirty friends.

A lawsuit is pending against 4Kids claiming that their version of One Piece warped kids' views surrounding violence, sex, and the dangers of sweets to one's teeth and gums. The families of the afflicted argue that 4Kids needs to be held responsible and that winning the suit would show all corporations the dangers of allowing children to watch animes characters eat candy or sweet snacks. An injunction request by the aforementioned noted alpha male weebs was made in 2019 to remove all 4Kids releases on the grounds of cultural imperialsim, however the motion was denied by a Montanan judge who responded by stating, "Lol, no. Most anime is too shitty to qualify as having any culture."